One sided love.

 So you be there with your partner, and they are hurting  you so much in the way they're behaving, in short they're not treating you well, but you're in love and you want to fix things. So you decide that it's the time to talk about it with them, such that you can have a happy relationship. You prepare your words, the way you'll approach in order that you don't annoy them, you practice how you'll control yourself and you even imagine how you will feel after fixing things. Now you buy airtime, remember you're not a person who over talks on phone. You buy pakapaka minutes; 60 of them because you don't want your conversation to be cut short before you finish. 

Now you calm yourself down and call, at first they don't pick. You pretend that maybe they're busy. You give them 30 minutes and call again. Luckily they pick. You are very happy and you know that you are now going to fix things. You start taking, you greet. The moment you start talking what the issue is, they excuse themselves and say that they're kinda busy and wait for at least 30 minutes they will call back. You're not happy with it, but you wait. 30 minutes seem like 2 hours but patience is your other name. After 30 minutes they don't call back. You wait for more 20 minutes, no sign for calling. You decide to call, the phone rings but they don't pick. You console yourself "maybe they're still busy." You wait for other more 10 minutes and call again, they refuse to pick. You now know that they have intentionally refused to pick your phone. You try calling them frequently in that you can disturb them and they pick till time reaches and as you call, you hear that the subscriber that you're calling is currently switched off. Now your heart breaks further, you feel like you're about to perish. You can't sleep, you cry silently, you have no one to talk to, coz literally they were the only people that you could have talked with. Deep in the night, you think that maybe they have felt a little bit of pity for you, you call again. The phone rings and they tell you that "the customer you're calling is on another line. Please wait". At this moment you regret why you called again. You pass through the cold night lonely but heartbroken, you cry silently till no more tears come. You question God why you are unlucky. You pray for better and promise yourself to move on. The following morning you wake up and pretend as if nothing happened overnight, but deep inside you're empty, the eyes are red, paining and dry, you don't have appetite, mild headache, but worst of it all a pain that's felt only in the heart. The pain of a heartbreak, that cannot be managed by any pain killer. You try to kick the thought of what transpired in the night out of your mind but you can't. 

Then something happens. You see them coming to you. You were determined not to see them again, but something stops you from doing that. They come and apologize and tell you how they were busy, and finally how they fell asleep and it's the reason they were not picking your calls. Your heart accepts, coz the sight of them makes the pain to temporarily stop. They apologize and you forgive them. You're ready to forgive them a million more times. You suddenly forget all the pain that you passed through the previous night. At least you are happy. They promise never to do it again. And they do it again and again and you keep getting hurt and hurt, till the day you decide that enough is enough you won't call them again, thinking that maybe they will realize that something isn't normal and they call. A day passes, a week, 2 weeks, no call, no message, you're hurting and they're happy. 

And then one day, you finally get to see them happy with their partners doing for them what they couldn't do with you, and that's the last nail in the coffin. You curse love. You promise yourself you'd never fall in love again. You start embracing single life, you prioritize your own peace of mind and enter the time of healing. No one knows. Love 😭😭