My biggest blessing seemed to be my worst regret.


‎After having scored aggregate 4 at PLE (2013), I thought life was gonna be a walk over basing on the words I was always told after that. It later came to be my biggest life regret up to earlier this year. I studied my high school on bursary scheme (thanks to Madam Nancy, the director Plus Two High School) though I didn't perform as expected at the end of S6. meanwhile I remember how I tried hard to get a vacancy at least for a diploma since I had missed on Bachelors in Pharmacy at MUK. I remember the time I was forced to stay at home for a year as I waited for the following year. The words from whom I thought were my friends that broke me down after missing out on enrollment. 
‎Anyways it was a struggle that greatly destroyed my mental health. The times I wished I wasn't as I was. 
‎the 4 that i had gotten turned out to be the biggest regret i have had for many years right away fromk s1 when a teacher accused me of having cheated exams. the same thing haunted me right after finishing high school, because the biggest question was, "what next" and neither my parents nor myself had an answer to it. i remember at a moment when i was almost made to join police force as a Senior four leaver and yet i had a UACE that could make me join university or any tertiary institution for a good science course


‎School life wasn't simple at all, I remember telling my story of how I reported for my first semester with only 8k and they wanted a broom to clear at the gate such that i could get a hostel, how I went and stole one broom for one of the hostels. It's a sad story that I reached college with a jeopardized mental health, low self esteem, and mentally exhausted. There's a quote by Sydney Sheldon in one of his books which says that poverty is always romantic in books. To me it seemed that the people who used to say that they come from humble backgrounds, I felt that they were misusing the word. The real humility of a background does not only affect someone financially but also psychologically. It's the major demon to fight other than the minor demons. It was really hard to settle when I knew my chances of coming back to college the coming semester were almost at zero. 
‎Grappling with low self esteem was always the worst hurdle to jump over. Fear of making friends as mind would always flag off any connection. luckily im loved the versatility in me because however hard things seemed, i tried hard to blend in the population. I had people who believed me coz they were seeing the capability in me though i was not seeing the same in myself.

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