2000s parental love

 Our parents did a very big role in bringing us up, but I think there's where they didn't do their best (not pinning them though). Maybe it was because of the generation where everyone thought that handling the child with an iron fist was only a measure of showing responsibility. The 1990s and early 2000s ways of showing or extending love and responsibility was ridiculous. It resulted into kids growing with constant fear of making mistakes because the mechanisms used to rectify them were always harsh. They did their best to see that their kids had better lives but the emotional connectivity was something they had never thought of. Think about living in strict homes where the rules are almost written on the wall; there is no space for breathing. 

To them, they were doing everything for us but in the end it's what has come to haunt us at old age. Grappling with issues of low self esteem, lack of confidence and an elevated emotional sensitivity, fear of making mistakes, a high degree of perfection, an avoidant character are one of the hardest situations one can be in as an adult. 

I was blessed with a younger sister when I was 13,and throughout our growing up, we bonded together and couldn't hide showing love to her because at least I came to realize that God had given me a best friend. I've tried to observe the way she jokes around me (I'm the elder brother, I could decide to shape her into what I want; parent duties because she respects me as one) but rather I tried to be free with her, supporting her ideas, advising her as someone old instead of punishing and the results have been good. Inside me I've been imagining what if I treat my kids the same way, to the extent that they crave my presence when I'm not around, let's say I've gone to work and they can't wait for evening to reach such that they can meet me coming from work and give me a hug, remove my shoes, tell me nice stories, report to me the people that annoyed them and so forth, it would be a good feeling both for them and for me. 

Love had a different meaning by then. They could even convince us to think that the child who was always punished most was always the one loved most. Such still amazes me up to now. So yes, love of that time was enough according to them, but in the current times, we're grappling with the ghosts from the kind of love that we received then.